I wonder if you’d ever read this. I wonder what you would think. Then again I’m writing for myself, so I think its okay if these words never reach you. 

Last night was something else. It was that sort of argument where all the feelings that were buried was uprooted and came up like a storm. You surprised me. It was as if that no matter what I have done; or will ever do for you will not make a difference. The walls between us keep pilling up higher and higher now, and I’m not sure what else I can do to show you that this relationship is worth going through all this pain. I’m sorry for being the barrier that is holding you back from all these tempting opportunities, and also all these people you would like to talk too. I’m sorry for giving you this guilty feeling of ‘if I do this it’s going to hurt him so I shouldn’t’. This relationship is the farthest thing from how it used to be, and I know that. Now we’d be lucky if we don’t argue for a week. It’s not even half of what it used to be. That really is whats so disappointing about it, because now both of our communication skills for each other are pathetic. You said that even if I am still doing all the things that I’m doing for you right now its still not enough to be a reason for you to stay. I said the exact same thing to you last night ‘when you act like this; you don’t give me a reason to stay at all’. I don’t know where we’re going to end up anymore. You seem so dissatisfied with everything about us now a days, and so satisfied with everyone else. What really hits me is that you are a completely different person when I’m with you and when we’re apart. It’s like I please one, but I can’t please the other.

I’m only one person. It seems that even my best isn’t good enough. I’m juggling school, family, you, my new kitty, and my friends. I still make time to talk to you, but now you spend hours and hours in front of a screen… I don’t know what I can do anymore to catch your attention. 

What do you honestly want? You said you were stuck, so what are you going to do to free yourself from that? You’re dissatisfied, so what are you going to do?

I am perfectly happy with you; even if things aren’t always the best between us. Are you really happy with me?

paaulrex:

joshisaduck:

Since it started here.. I decided to at least come back just for today, because this is where we met. I mean who really would have known that this beautiful girl that I was following on tumblr could have bin the love of my life? I mean we got with each other so fast and because of that had so much problems, but we got through it all. Here we are today.. I can’t believe it really haha. There was so many times where I thought we weren’t going to make it honestly, but we did and I couldn’t be happier. All the things you’ve managed to teach me in only a year is remarkable, you’re not just my girlfriend, you’re my best friend, my teacher, my everything. I love you so much. 

People say we’re just puppy love, or that our relationship isn’t gna last because of stupid reasons. Those people are wrong because this is something we both have never experienced.  

I think because of you I can finally say that I know the meaning of love. Love means that you will go way past your limit just to make that person happy, that you will continually be there for that person no matter what. That was what you’ve thought me. Half of the things that has happened this year I couldn’t have done with out your support. So thank you so much for always being there for me. Happy one year anniversary baby, we’ve made it 365 days lets keep it going<3.

                                                                      - Your boyfriend<3. 

I miss you Josh. And congrats you two (‘:

Hahaha i miss you too man and thank you :D

Since it started here.. I decided to at least come back just for today, because this is where we met. I mean who really would have known that this beautiful girl that I was following on tumblr could have bin the love of my life? I mean we got with each other so fast and because of that had so much problems, but we got through it all. Here we are today.. I can’t believe it really haha. There was so many times where I thought we weren’t going to make it honestly, but we did and I couldn’t be happier. All the things you’ve managed to teach me in only a year is remarkable, you’re not just my girlfriend, you’re my best friend, my teacher, my everything. I love you so much. 

People say we’re just puppy love, or that our relationship isn’t gna last because of stupid reasons. Those people are wrong because this is something we both have never experienced.  

I think because of you I can finally say that I know the meaning of love. Love means that you will go way past your limit just to make that person happy, that you will continually be there for that person no matter what. That was what you’ve thought me. Half of the things that has happened this year I couldn’t have done with out your support. So thank you so much for always being there for me. Happy one year anniversary baby, we’ve made it 365 days lets keep it going<3.

                                                                      - Your boyfriend<3. 

         High Schools almost over.. Graduating early has been no walk in the park. This whole year I’ve sacrificed my social life just so that I can graduate with my girlfriend and my friends, but not only that to also graduate for my family. Freshman year and sophomore year I’ve fucked up a lot. Gotten caught with things that I was not proud of.. I feel like I’ve been a disappointment to my my parents especially who have done so much for me. Sacrificed their comfortable life in the Philippines for me, just so that I could have a better life, they left everything they had and started over here in America and thats how their son repaid them. To know that I might not graduate is.. is a feeling that I cant even describe into words. It hurts. 5 credits is keeping me from graduating. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do about it.. Theres a month and a half left till graduation and I’m going to do everything I can to graduate.. It’s just.. I cant feel but feel like a disappointment to my parents.

I want to have them look at me and say “You’ve worked so hard this year son and we’re very proud of you”… 

adriisaswan:

Thanks to my amazing girlfriend ;D